Well Shiver Me Timbers and Blow Me Down

As I sat here Saturday night listening to the strongest winds I have ever personally experienced, I knew something was gonna go. I lay here on the couch and prayed it wouldn’t be my trailer. I mean come on, I haven’t even had the damn thing for a year yet. Well something went alright, and went hard. Apparently the wind has a harder suck-tion then I could ever dream of having.

I finally fell asleep around 4 am after listening to the winds for hours. Just when I was hitting that deep you-better-damn-well-be-dying-if-you-wake-me mode when someone came banging on my door. As I rolled off the couch, looking at the clock and grumbling because it was only a little after 5 am, I remember thinking it better not be that fucking crackhead again or I’m letting Jigger have him this time. It wasn’t a crackhead, it was the park manager yelling that my shed was blowing away, straight for the parks main gas lines. Oh Joy. I headed outside and sure enough, there was my shed. Gone. Well, not gone, but blown the fuck over. Apparently my outside hot water tank door had blown off, headed straight for the shed doors, and the wind hit the inside of the shed. It picked the shed up, folded the back wall to the ground, and over. Did I mention TH had two of his most expensive dirt bike projects in there? Plus my kids bikes, and over a couple grand in tools and bike/trike/quad parts? Oh yeah.

And there went my shed

Must have been the big bad wolf

So there we were in the dark. Me, my crackhead neighbor, the two park managers, and a neighbor couple who I have no idea who they are. It took 5 of us to hold it down long enough to tie with ropes. Luckily the back corner got stuck on a metal fence pole, so once the ropes were in place, a few heavy tires tossed on the sides, it wasn’t going anywhere else in the 70-92 mile an hour wind gusts. I never went back to sleep by the way. I stayed up to make sure my shed wasn’t going to pull another Dorothy Gale on me. Every noise, every slam had me running outside to check. I waited for hours for the wind to die down just so I could get a better look at the damage and start picking up crap. I went out twice and tried to move the sides, twice I about had my arms yanked out of their sockets with the wind.

By 11 am I said screw it and headed out anyways. Miracle of all miracles, all the bikes were still in their original places. His two project dirt bikes hadn’t even fallen off the egg crates they were sitting on. Unfortunately when the shed came up and over it did rip the back plastic on the Hamaya (he combined a Honda motor on a Yamaha frame, hence our new name) and broke off the brake light. The heavy shelves in the back that had 4 other motors and all our parts and tools had folded better than my kids fold their clothes and literally covered everything. We picked up all the pieces parts and tools, made piles of what was broke and where we were putting things, and checked to see if we could save the shed.

They barely moved

Gotta love the fact the bikes stayed strong

It was a no go. Lost. Dammit. Surprisingly enough, the crackhead neighbor came out, and literally helped me tear the shed in pieces small enough to drag into a pile for removal. The man is a maniac with a hammer though, which definitely had me looking at him in a frightening new way. But thank you anyways Mr. Crackhead, I did appreciate the help. No way would I have been able to move that by myself, my hammer was somewhere under the pile. So all in the bikes were all saved for the most part, no one was injured (except maybe my pride), the main gas lines were never hit, I barely damaged my neighbors place, and we scraped by with little loss in tools and parts.

I do regret losing the shed though. I now no longer have a secret dungeon, it was a work in progress. I no longer get to help TH work on the bikes because he’ll be working on them elsewhere from now on and I can’t. And I no longer have a reason to get my own bike because I have nowhere to put it or work on it. Which is a shame to say the least. I will miss working on those bikes and feeling at least semi-useful.

13 Responses to “Well Shiver Me Timbers and Blow Me Down”

  1. Whoa, that bites hard. What state do you live in? (Not the state of chaos, the actual state that is written on the mail you receive.) I’m in Detroit and we didn’t have anything like that.

    We had a tiny bit of snow, like a millimeter that stuck to 18 blades of grass for three hours and 42 minutes, and that was it.

  2. LOL…my actual physical address is northern Cali… Funny enough I left the snowbelt of Ohio and their 6 feet of snow in April for this state…

    Did your 18 blades of grass survive? That’s the tell tale sign of a poor winter

  3. Ouch! There is serendipity. You now know that for an $8 rock you can get just about any heavy labor job done that you have.

    We came close to this a couple years back. We had 6 hours of 70 mph sustained winds. Talk about surreal. Damn. And I was out on the bike at the very start of it.

  4. Love it and we stole some stuff…sorry lol

  5. Damn. Why do trailer areas always have high winds? You’d think urban planners would put the trailer areas into low wind zones and put place that have concrete buildings in the windier areas.

    You should bring this up at the next town meeting.

  6. A watershed moment in your life. That really blows. Worse that a tipped cow. That is all.

  7. Mother Nature can be such a bitch. Sorry about your shed. Went through a similar ordeal during Hurricane Wilma, apartment and cars all hit hard…spanish tiles, wind and water don’t mix. Be glad no one got hurt, and life goes on. :-)

  8. Holy hell. I’m just coming off ten year trailer part stint, and yeah – learned quickly that if I couldn’t root it in cement, I couldn’t leave it outside. Glad the bikes made out okay!

  9. That Bites! I hate the wind, at least nobody was hurt.
    This is where I will shamelessly promote my blog…. and show you why I hate wind too.


  10. Ass Weasel Says:

    Hey girl sorry to hear about your crap getting tossed in the wind. hope all has worked out and you get back on that bike idea and ride with it.

  11. That is some scary shit! And here I thought they only had storms like that in the midwest.. Love your blog!

  12. Looks like you just got fucked in the ass my friend.


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